Wealth Porn

Film: That Touch of Mink
Format: Retroplex on rockin’ flatscreen.

Yogi Berra passed away yesterday. By chance, I happened to have DVRed a movie in which he makes a cameo appearance, so it seemed like a natural choice for today. That it also happens to feature Doris Day, Cary Grant, Gig Young, Audrey Meadows, Dick Sargent, and John Astin is just a bonus. It was Yogi’s world and all of us just lived in it. So That Touch of Mink was on the docket for tonight, even though Yogi only has a single line.

Staggeringly wealthy Philip Shayne (Cary Grant) is on his way to work in his Rolls limo when his car splashes Cathy Timberlake (Doris Day) with a puddle. The car drives on and Philip goes to work, but is bothered by what happens. Meanwhile, Cathy has a depressing day at the unemployment office, particularly because she is the object of desire for Beasley (John Astin), who works behind the counter. Philip tells his assistant Roger (Gig Young) about what happened, and when he spots Cathy walking into an automat, he sends Roger to apologize for him.

Cathy decides to go back to the office with Roger so she can give Mr. Shayne a piece of her mind. However, upon meeting, the two are immediately smitten. Before you can say “doodly-doodly-doop,” Cathy is wearing an overcoat while her clothes are being cleaned and pressed. Philip is in the middle of a deal and he askes Cathy’s advice. It turns out her advice is good, so he takes her on a whirlwind trip around New England, ending with a Yankees game (he’s evidently a part owner since they watch the game from the bench) and an invitation to go with him to Bermuda.

None of this sits well with Connie (Audrey Meadows), Cathy’s roommate. But off Cathy goes, just starting to realize that Philip Shayne is played by Cary Grant, which means he’s a notorious playboy. It’s when she realizes that the hotel room has only a single bed that the fun happens. She breaks out in a nervous rash and returns home to New York. Convinced that she needs to make a better impression on Philip (he did, after all, buy all of the tickets on her flight so she could have the plane to herself), she returns to Bermuda and calls him. He returns to find her drunk, since she drank an entire fifth of whisky to build up her courage.

Of course, this all means love is in the air, which means that we’re going to need them both to figure this out. Roger comes to the rescue here, engineering a way for Cathy to make Philip jealous—which involves her accepting a date with the creepy Beasley. And, of course, it all works out well in the end. You knew that, right?

There are a few things at work here; some that help make the film entertaining and some that place it firmly in the 1960s. The unsung hero of the film is Gig Young’s Roger. Roger is a complete neurotic. A former academic, he was lured from his teaching job by Philip for the business world thanks to a massive salary. Roger is tormented by this, and both desperate to leave the business and unable to do so. A great deal is made of his sessions with his analyst (Alan Hewitt) and a misunderstanding between the two of them.

It also helps to have Doris Day and Cary Grant in a film together. This genuinely seems like it should have been another Rock Hudson/Doris Day movie (same director as Pillow Talk, after all), and I could have easily seen that happen. There’s a solid joke about two-thirds of the way through the film. Philip, wanting to take care of Cathy but wanting her out of his hair, suggests to Roger that they find her a husband. Philip nixes all of the proposed suitors including Rock Hudson. Anyway, both are easy to like on camera, and they make a film like this a pleasant experience.

A third bright spot is Audrey Meadows. Her entire role in the film is to be the wise-cracking friend of Cathy, and she gets a lot of good lines spoken as only Audrey Meadows could. She’s snarky and world-weary and a complete joy.

In a very real sense, though, this is money pornography through and through. Philip Shayne is wealthy in a way to make wealthy people piss themselves. The trip to Bermuda involves a complete new expensive wardrobe for Cathy, and as mentioned, he buys all of the seats on the plane so that she can have the flight to herself. There’s a real sense of the audience watching not just for the romance but also for the massive amount of wealth on screen.

There’s a part of me that’s a little disturbed seeing Doris Day in a role this overtly sexual as well. Watching her flirt is sort of like listening to your mother talk about sex.

Ultimately, That Touch of Mink is terribly dated. This movie hasn’t been relevant to anyone for several decades. There’s a charm here, but it’s a charm that requires the viewer put him- or herself into the early 1960s to enjoy. There are some genuinely good moments here but they’re partially buried in a script that is filled with that 1960s-style misogyny. Fun for lovers of the genre or the era, but this is not essential viewing.

Why to watch That Touch of Mink: How often do Cary Grant and Doris Day get upstaged by Gig Young and Audrey Meadows?
Why not to watch: It’s as dated as last year’s calendar.