Each Story a Flower

Film: Torture Garden
Format: Streaming video from Tubi TV on Fire!

We’re going to dive head-first into a horror subgenre that I’ve attacked before with Torture Garden. This is not torture porn, despite the name. Its 1967 pedigree would put it before even the torture porn-like films of the early and mid-‘70s. No, this is a (sigh) horror anthology film, a film that will give us a framing story and four tales of various levels of scary. Truthfully, they aren’t going to be that scary for the most part. As frequently happens in an anthology like this one, the stories are essentially little morality tales that cause people to realize their own “sins,” perhaps before it is too late.

There are some pros and cons for this one going in. On the positive side, these are all tales written by Robert Bloch, who also wrote Psycho, so at least we’re going to have some quality when it comes to the writing. We’ve also got some classic actors from the era including Peter Cushing and all-time champion scenery chewers Burgess Meredith and Jack Palance. On the downside, this is still very much in the classic Gothic style in a lot of ways. It wants to be more modern, and it can’t quite pull it off.

The Real Dracula's Daughter

Film: Abigail
Format: DVD from Sycamore Public Library on Kid #1’s TV.

Sometimes, you see a trailer and you know you’re going to watch the movie in question. That was certainly the case with Abigail, a movie that ruins the big surprise in the trailer, and demonstrates that it ultimately doesn’t matter. To be fair, the big reveal in Abigail doesn’t happen at the end of the film, but is the driving force of the second act, so it’s not that much of a loss. So, I’m going to naturally talk about that reveal. Since it’s something that literally shows up in the trailer, this is not going to be anything like a spoiler.

As the film begins, we see a young girl performing ballet. Meanwhile, there is a group of people who are clearly planning something and that something is clearly kidnapping the girl. It all goes off without a hitch. The team of six kidnappers takes the girl to a huge secluded house with the plans to wait for a day for what will be a huge payout of millions for each person. All of this comes from the direction of a man named Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito).

...And Neither Are Their Cubs

Film: Tigers are not Afraid (Vuelven)
Format: DVD from Sycamore Public Library on Kid #1’s TV.

Every year, I spend about a week in St. Louis petsitting my daughter’s dog. While I generally have to work (and this year it happened during a finals week), it’s also a chance for me to catch up on movies. I showed up with more than a dozen discs, knowing that once finals week was over, I’d have two or three days in a strange city without a lot to do. Sure, there’s stuff to do in St. Louis, but the dog does need tending, and he can’t be alone for too long, so a couple of movies per day was on the docket. Of the many I brought with me, Tigers are not Afraid (or Vuelven) is one that I was most interested in.

Tigers are not Afraid takes place in Mexico in the heart of the war between drug cartels. Thousands of people have been killed or gone missing, leaving behind thousands of children forced to fend for themselves or become victims. In terms of the narrative, this is clearly a film that has connections to City of God, but there are also real connections to The Devil’s Backbone, not merely because of it being in Spanish. This is a film that is very much a dark fairy tale, a grittier version of what Guillermo del Toro does best, creating a connection to Pan’s Labyrinth as well.

Their Cross to Burn Bear

Film: Soft & Quiet
Format: Streaming video from NetFlix on Fire!

I try to keep politics out of this blog, but there are times when the movie in question prevents that from happening. At the recent presidential debate, one of the more memorable moments was, “They’re eating the cats. They’re eating the dogs.” This is in reference to an incredibly racist trope about Haitian immigrants in Ohio. And it is purely racism, something that the American right wing seems to like to bank on. There is a frequent undercurrent of racism in American politics from the right, from Willy Horton to birtherism, to Haitians eating pets. And it’s where we’re going to live for 92 minutes with Soft & Quiet, a film that is unbelievably difficult to watch.

It's also worth saying off the top here that if you look up reviews for Soft & Quiet, you’re going to find a lot of negative reviews. A lot of them. The reason is twofold. One is that this is a difficult movie to watch and an unpleasant one, and a lot of people are going to have a negative and visceral reaction to it. Part of it, though, is an attempt to pull people away from the film by the people whom the film is essentially about. It’s the same reason why Bud Light got a bunch of negative reviews all at once—if there are enough bad reviews, people will stay away.

What I've Caught Up With, August 2024

August was a difficult month, involving some travel and dealing with my dad, which is always fun. But, no complaints--I knocked out a few from the big list, including a couple that I put up as full reviews. On the television front, I finally caught up on Doctor Who, having completed the first Ncuti Gatwa season. I've also finished Farscape, and watched all of the short Brit-com series Black Books. White Collar is still my workout show for a couple more weeks. It's also worth saying that everyone who told me that Arrested Development dropped off after season 3 was absolutely correct.

But Are You Worth Saving?

Film: No One Will Save You
Format: Streaming video from Hulu Plus on Fire!

Genre mashups always have the potential to be interesting. That’s especially the case with subgenre mashups, at least in my opinion. No One Will Save You is just such a case. To say that this is a horror/science fiction film is to name it in a group of hundreds and thousands of other films. More specifically, though, this is an alien invasion movie and a home invasion movie. It’s like the final confrontation from Signs mixed with Mike Flanagan’s Hush, with a bit of Invasion of the Body Snatchers tossed in for good measure. That’s a combination that has a lot of potential.

The reality of No One Will Save You is that it lives up to at least some of that potential, although not all of it. There are some really interesting ideas presented in this, but there are some serious questions that are left unanswered. I don’t always mind a few unanswered questions, but in this case, those are very plot-central. Because of this, the film feels oddly unfinished and unsatisfying.

Are All Summer Camps This Dangerous?

Film: Madman
Format: Streaming video from Tubi TV on Fire!

When a particular genre movie makes a lot of money, it immediately spawns imitators trying to cash in on the formula. Asylum is an American film company that produces what are kindly known as “mockbusters,” films that are clearly derived from major pictures and made on the cheap. Pacific Rim becomes Atlantic Rim for Asylum, and why remake I am Legend when you can just call it I am Omega. Madman is like that, although it wasn’t made by Asylum. This is a film that is clearly derived from Friday the 13th, and it’s not shy about its source material.

That being the case, it’s not a shock that this begins like The Fog, with people around a campfire telling scary stories. However, rather than this being about an important anniversary for a town, we’re at a summer camp, listening to the head counselor Max (Carl Fredericks). What Friday the 13th discovered, either by genius or by chance, is that summer camps are the natural habitat of what Siskel and Ebert used to call “dead teenager” movies. The kids in question are isolated, horny, unsupervised (since they are the counselors), and vulnerable.