Emergency Broadcast System?

Film: This is Not a Test
Format: Streaming video from AMC on Fire!

Is the zombie subgenre played out? I think you can make a pretty good case for that even if I don’t specifically agree with it. The problem with zombie movies is that it’s very difficult to distinguish one movie from another after a while. A movie needs to either be really innovative and do something different or it needs to be made so well that it can’t be ignored. The Girl with All the Gifts presented very different zombies and an interesting version of the zombie plague. Train to Busan was simply pure, high-octane action. Both work because of that. Since This is Not a Test doesn’t have the wall-to-wall insanity of Busan, it’s going to need to do something new.

Sadly, it does not. Zombies and high school kids is something that has been explored before and in interesting ways. Dance of the Dead (zombies at prom) and Anna and the Apocalypse (zombie Christmas musical) did something new. Kids trapped in a high school while zombies rage outside was definitively handled by the Korean show All of Us Are Dead. This is Not a Test follows a lot of the same path. There is a difference here, but it’s not a notable or interesting one.

Back to the Drawing Board

Film: Sketch
Format: DVD from Sycamore Public Library on gigantic television.

I genuinely try to go into movies that I watch wanting things to be good, and I always try to approach every film as neutrally as possible. I admit that I went into Sketch with some real reservations. Sketch was produced by Angel Studios, which is run by the Mormon church. These are the same people who made Sound of Freedom, and who generally make movies that are available in theaters as “special events” on a random Tuesday. To that point, the “Special Features” section of the DVD has a promo for the Tuttle Twins; if you’re not familiar, they are libertarian cartoons for kids, or more appropriately, right-wing propaganda for children in grade school.

But, I watched it anyway, and it does seem to be evidence of the idea that even a blind squirrel finds the occasional nut. Sketch is inventive, fun, and actually feels in a lot of ways healthy in terms of the psychology of the kids involved and the family situation. This was far better than I expected. Sometimes, you just have to take a flyer on something and it pays off.

The Devil You Don't Know

Film: They Will Kill You
Format: Streaming video from HBO on various players.

Tropes and basic plots exist for a reason: they work. They serve as a sort of shorthand for character and plot. We can pick up a lot of basic truths about a story or a character quickly, and this also serves as a way for creators to subvert those tropes. Haunted house stories work the same basic way—people are trapped in a house and are unable to leave and are pursued and often killed by the thing (or things) haunting the house. Alien and Event Horizon are really just haunted house movies in space. Ready or Not subverted the genre by giving us a single victim being pursued by everyone else. They Will Kill You does the same basic thing.

I mean that sincerely. They Will Kill You is an almost spiritual sequel of Ready or Not, and it’s not much of a coincidence that they came out at virtually the same time. We’re going to have one motivated person against a crew that wants to get rid of her and there’s going to be plenty of Satan along for the ride.

They Blew It

Film: Whistle
Format: Streaming video from AMC on various players.

I had hopes for Whistle, but admittedly, those hopes were based on the poster and what I gathered from a short synopsis. What the story looks like is that some kids find an Aztec death whistle. Shaped like a skull, when blown, it releases a horrible screeching noise. In the film, though, this causes the people who blow the whistle (actually, anyone who hears it) to die horribly. It’s a cool idea, even though it hits the same tropes that we tend to see in movies like this, but just original enough to perhaps give us something new.

The reality is that Whistle is almost certainly a movie that you’ve seen before if you’re at all a fan of horror, and I mean that in no positive way. What we learn is that the whistle doesn’t cause those who hear it to die horribly; it literally summons their death. So, if you were destined to die at 85 of a pulmonary embolism, you die of an embolism essentially now, and if an autopsy is performed, your body will essentially read as being 85. The whistle accelerates your death, and you die in the way you were destined to die. In other words, it’s Final Destination with a bit of a twist. Sure the deaths are essentially pre-ordained, but capital-D Death is the antagonist.

What I've Caught Up With, May 2026 Part 2

I finished two big shows and two smaller shows in May. I’m continuing to work my way through the MCU shows, rewatching the first season of Iron Fist and then the second season for the first time. I also watched the four-episode Eyes of Wakanda, which was fine, but ultimately forgettable. I completed The Good Fight as well and am currently between legal shows. The biggest completion was Babylon 5, and I’m now working my way through the related movies, several of which are highlighted below. I’m still watching The Sopranos as my workout show, and am just at the halfway point. Beyond that, I’m a few seasons deep into The Americans, which is good, but I find impossible to binge.

What I've Caught Up With, May 2026 Part 1

With the stated goal of 400 movies viewed for the year, I needed to see 34 in May to break even. I watched 35, so I caught up a single movie, putting me seven off the pace. Honestly, that's pretty good for me. Normally at this point, I'm a couple of dozen behind where I want to be. It was a pretty normal month. Nothing too bizarre, aside from a week where, due to circumstances, I didn't watch much of anything. Had I been a bit more dilligent, I might have caught up all the way.

No One Hurts You Like Family

Film: Sentimental Value (Affeksjonsverdi)
Format: Streaming video from Hulu Plus on Fire!

As I slowly make my way through the latest crop of Oscar movies, I’ve found myself struggling at times to want to pull the trigger on them. All of the ones I haven’t seen are currently streaming at this point; I could finish this in less than a week if I had a mind to, but right now, what I want to watch is going in different directions. So, while Sentimental Value (or Affeksjonsverdi in the Norwegian) has gotten mountains of acclaim, I’ve found it difficult to want to watch it. But sometimes you just have to force yourself into doing those things that you know you need to do. I’d like to knock out one of the remaining Oscar films ever week—I’d be done late June/early July, and that would absolutely be a record for me.

Anyway, Sentimental Value on its surface is one of those movies that is about making a movie, but it’s really about the relationships of the people involved. Hollywood always likes movies about movies, but this is not a movie that at all feels like it’s glamorizing the business. In fact, it does the opposite, and it takes some very obvious digs at NetFlix to the point where it will clearly never be shown on that streaming platform.