Monkey See, Monkey Do

Film: Primate
Format: DVD from Sycamore Public Library on gigantic television.

One of the current trends in horror films is adapting children’s stories to horror. Films like Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, Pinocchio Unstrung, and Popeye the Slayer Man, while not setting box office records, are becoming more and more common. I say this not because Primate is one of these films, but because it easily could have been. Wait until 1937 to release it, and this could very easily be titled Furious George and fit right in with the rest of them.

This should tell you that Primate is going to be a film about a killer monkey, specifically a killer chimpanzee, and that’s exactly what it is. The elevator pitch of this movie is “What if Cujo was a chimpanzee?” So, we’re going to have an antagonist that is strong, cunning, legitimately smart, and (of course) rabid.

What I've Caught Up With, September 2026

September is another month where my movie viewing faltered a great deal. I managed only 20 movies in September, far fewer than the 33 to keep pace for the yearly goal. Ah, well. Some years are like this, and both work and family pressure take time away. It is what it is.

Television-wise, I caught up with the second season of the excellent Batman: Caped Crusader. I also watched the recent fourth season of Reacher, which was fine, but was also definitely the least of the four seasons. We can hope that it will improve on a fifth season. Finally, I finished Person of Interest, which I enjoyed for Michael Emerson, could have lived without Jim Caveiezel, and ultimately feel like it comes across as apologia for AI. Still, it ain't the worst I've watched.

Lunchtime!

Film: Raw (Grave)
Format: DVD from Wilmington Public Library through interlibrary loan on gigantic television.

Julia Ducournau is really early in her directorial career in terms of the number of films she has made. I think, for me, she’s going to be a director whose work I seek out, but only watch once. That’s definitely the case for Titane, which I think is a masterpiece. It’s equally true of Raw. (Grave in the French, which translates to “serious.” It would be Brute if we wanted the French to be the same as the English.) This is an important film and one I’m happy to have finally seen, but I’m not going to watch it again any time soon.

Let’s get the main points of this out in the open before we dive in: Raw is a film about cannibalism. This is not a zombie film, nor a film that pretends to be an ethnography and is actually just poorly-disguised racism. No, this is about people living in the modern world, in Western society, with inexplicable, terrible, monstrous cravings. And, importantly, it’s not clear that this is what the film is about until we’re a good distance in and already invested in the story, one of the realities that makes this such a masterful piece of cinema.

That's Really Super

Film: Supergirl
Format: Streaming video from HBO on various sources.

Before we talk too much about Supergirl, we need to spend some time talking about the toxicity of nerd culture. If Supergirl had been a perfect superhero movie, something that rivaled the cultural relevance and power of Avengers: Endgame, there would have been a sizable contingent of nerds online rating it 1-star, sight unseen. Why? Because it’s a superhero movie with a female lead who isn’t entirely dependent on a male character or even in any kind of relationship with a male character. Wonder Woman got a pass because of Steve Rogers. Birds of Prey was downgraded because Harley Quinn escaped from the toxic influence of the Joker in that film. There are a lot of nerds who project their desperate desire for male dominance on all movies, and none so much as those they seem to think are theirs by divine right. Oh, and probably Supergirl isn’t hot enough for the standards of guys who haven’t touched a woman other than their own mother.

The truth is that Supergirl is not a perfect superhero movie. It’s not even the best DC superhero movie of the last few years. It is, however, at least very good, and presents a very interesting view on the title character. It also does this without a lot of the expected “Grrl power” attitude. In fact, for a good portion of the movie, Kara Zor-El/Supergirl (Milly Alcock) isn’t very likeable.

All You Can Eat

Film: Buffet Infinity
Format: Streaming video Amazon Prime on Fire!

I’m not sure how to explain what Buffet Infinity is. It feels like it is pulling ideas from completely disparate sources but also like something completely original, something you have never experienced before. It’s horror, but also comedy, and also kitsch. There are connections to the movie Stay Tuned, SNL short films, Detroiters, Mr. Show, SCTV, Scientology, and cheap local ads. But none of this tells you what Buffet Infinity actually is.

Imagine someone watching late night television where all of the ads are cheap, local ones. The person holding the remote has that sort of scrolling ADHD that keeps them switching channels every 30 seconds or so, and that they have a unique ability to only find news and commercials. And as they continue to move from channel to channel, some odd reality starts to take shape.

A Remake Worth Watching

Film: The Naked Gun (2025)
Format: Streaming video from Paramount on The Projector

I’ve had a number of different methods to watch films over the last 16 or so years of this blog, but now and then I get to add a new one. Through a series of events, I now have access to a device that projects streaming channels on a blank wall. Long story, and I may reveal it some time in the future. Anyway, this weekend, I’ve spent some time with a cousin, his wife, their son, and their son’s partner, and we watched the remake of The Naked Gun. So, while this is not entirely unique for me, this review will also come with the necessary context of seeing this with a group of people, and frankly, that is the way to watch this movie.

For those uninitiated (and why would you be uninitiated in this), The Naked Gun is based on the movie of the same name, which came from a short one-season television show called Police Squad. This is a film done in the style of Airplane! with hundreds of jokes tossed at the screen at the same time with the hope that a few of them will stick. This is the sort of comedy that rewards rewatching, since there are often multiple jokes happening at the same time, and you have to work to catch them all.

He Loves Me...Not

Film: Heart Eyes
Format: Streaming video from NetFlix on Fire!

If you are perpetually online, you have almost certainly seen clips of shows from the Dropout Network. One of the shows, Make Some Noise, is an improv show that frequently features the talents of Josh Ruben, known for some impressive impressions and the ability to make odd animal noises. I bring this up because Josh Ruben also directed the horror/comedy Heart Eyes. I know nothing about Ruben beyond what I’ve seen online. The comedy seems right on for what I know; the horror seems surprising.

Heart Eyes is an attempt to create a new slasher villain, a character with an iconic look. Our killer, naturally known as the Heart Eyes Killer or HEK, has had a two-year reign of terror. The gimmick is that HEK kills happy couples on Valentine’s Day. The first year, he killed couples in Boston; the following year, he attacked Philadelphia. Since this movie takes place in Seattle, you can guess the city that will be struck this year.