A Little Dab'll Do Ya

Film: The Substance
Format: DVD from Cortland Public Library on basement television.

I’m not going to virtue signal here, because something I’m about to say is kind of belied by a lot of the films I really love: women and marginalized groups make better horror movies. I say this full in the knowledge that some of my all-time favorite horror movies (28 Days Later, The Thing) are made by white dudes, and Wes Craven is far and away my favorite horror director. That said, for the last decade or so, the really interesting things being done in the genre are being done by women and marginalized people. That brings us to The Substance, a brutal body horror film that was so damned good it got a bunch of Oscar nominations, including a win for makeup and hairstyling.

Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore) is an aging actress who, Jane Fonda-like, has made a significant portion of her later career working in fitness videos. On her 50th birthday, her producer Harvey (Dennis Quaid) fires her essentially for being too old. On her way home from being fired, she sees one of her billboards being ripped down, and loses control of her car. At the hospital post-crash, a young nurse slips a flash drive into her pocket offering her “The Substance,” which promises to create a better, more perfect version of herself.

The Substance, much like gremlins, comes with specific rules. It can only be used once. Elisabeth, not really knowing what will happen, goes ahead with using the product and immediately begins convulsing. A new, younger version of herself emerges from a slit in her back. So, while Elisabeth remains, there is now also Sue (Margaret Qualley). Sue and Elisabeth both exist, but now must split time between their existence. Each is awake for a week and asleep for a week, and each is forced into basic care for the other. All of this comes with the firm instruction that the balance must be respected, and that there is no real distinction between the two of them—what happens to one will affect the other.

You can see where this is going, right? It’s going to start out fine, with Sue taking over for Elisabeth in the exercise/fitness world. She’s an immediate sensation, and while everything is great for her, Elisabeth starts to feel less and less vital and less and less useful. And then, of course, the problems start. It begins with Sue taking an extra day from Elisabeth because of a drunken tryst. When she does switch back a day late, Elisabeth now has one finger and part of her hand that is ancient and wizened. A call to the number where she got the Substance tells her that what has been lost is gone for good and to respect the balance.

But, now we have a situation where Elisabeth and Sue are going to feud with each other. Sue takes more and more time from Elisabeth, which ages her while Elisabeth starts to binge eat, causing problems for Sue, especially in the most moments where it appears that bulges are appearing on her during her workout show. And the balance of power between the two of thing shifts back and forth, each vying not for control, but for revenge on their other half.

That’s more than enough plot discussion. What needs to be noted here is just how brutal a lot of the body horror is. This is true David Cronenberg stuff—things being yanked out of bodies, teeth ripping out, and more. It’s disturbing to watch, and if you’re at all squeamish, there are going to be some moments that are difficult for you. Just consider that a warning if you decide to watch this.

The truth is, squeamish or not, you should watch The Substance. The actual meaning of the film is pretty on-the-nose obvious, but that doesn’t make the message any less important or vital. This is clearly about how women are portrayed in media, where after a particular point, they are seen as worthless and washed up. It’s about cosmetic surgery and Botox and images of perfection—and anything less than perfection equating to worthlessness. Where Quaid’s Harvey is just as vital in his job, Moor’s Elisabeth is washed up despite being almost a decade younger.

When I say that the most interesting horror is being made by women and marginalized groups, this is the kind of thing I am talking about. The Substance could have been made by a man in the sense that a movie with this basic premise could have been made by a man, but this movie specifically could not have been. A man could have even made a good, interesting, and potentially great movie with this premise. But this kind of reality, where physical attractiveness is literally seen as corresponding with talent in any position, is something that men view as spectators and women live with every day.

And seriously, hats off to Demi Moore. I’ve never been a massive Moore fan—she’s good sometimes and not so good other times. But here, she is completely fearless. Her Oscar nomination is more than deserved for that fact alone; even if this wasn’t an important and fantastic movie, this is the sort of performance that gets remembered for decades.

I’m happy I finally got to see this. As ugly as it is at times, and as much as the ending spins a little out of control in terms of the amount of blood, it’s something that is more than worth seeing.

Why to watch The Substance: David Cronenberg wishes he’d made this.
Why not to watch: Remember the old woman from the room in The Shining? This is worse.