Ten Days of Terror!: Versus

Film: Versus (Vasasu)
Format: DVD from Harvard Diggins Public Library through interlibrary loan on rockin’ flatscreen.

There are times when the premise of a movie is far better than the actual movie that is produced. It’s the cinematic equivalent of someone’s eyes being bigger than their stomach. Coming up with a fun idea or a crazy mashup is easier than actually having that crazy mashup make sense. Versus (Vasasu, which is as close as you can get to “versus” in Japanese) is that film. This is a movie made on a shoestring budget (something like $10,000 in 2000) where it’s clear that the film itself can’t live up to the promise of the idea.

If I told you that this is a movie where the reincarnation of an ancient samurai battles with the Yakuza in a forest where the dead come back to life—including many of the dead that the Yakuza have buried there—you might perk up if you are an action fan or a horror fan. When I add that the head of the Yakuza in the film is actively attempting to open a gate to Hell, and is also a reincarnated figure from the past, you can see that we have something like a story. And then the film plays and lives up to none of it.

Wednesday Horror: The Midnight Meat Train

Films: The Midnight Meat Train
Format: Streaming video from NetFlix on laptop.

What can I tell you about The Midnight Meat Train that you can’t get from the title? No shock that this is going to be a horror title and that there’s going to be a good amount of blood in it. What may not be known from the title is that this is based on a Clive Barker story from “The Books of Blood.” I like quite a bit of that collection, and I’ve always thought that “In the Hills, the Cities” would make a dandy short film. Based on the stories in the collection, I suppose I’m not terribly shocked that this one was picked. Good, nasty title and potential for quality gore? How could you pass it up? Throw in Bradley Cooper’s first starring role, and you’ve got the makings of at least a cult film on your hands, right?

Enter Leon (Cooper), a photographer who wants to break into the art world. His goal is to photograph the dirty, gritty underside of the city. He meets with a gallery owner named Susan (Brooke Shields(!)) who tells him that while he’s got some talent, he seems to shy away from staying at a place long enough to get the real, meaningful shot that tells the whole story. That night he heads to the subway where he sees a woman being threatened by two thugs with knives. He stops them, and the woman gets on the train. The next day, he discovers that the woman has gone missing.