The Title is the Review

Film: Honey Don’t
Format: Streaming video from NetFlix on Fire!

Someone needs to tell me what the hell happened to Ethan Coen. I consider myself a fan of the Coen Brothers. I’m not any kind of superfan—I haven’t seen their entire catalog, but I’ve seen more than I haven’t. When the Coens decided to separate artistically for a bit, Joel made The Tragedy of Macbeth, a film that earned three Oscar nominations. Ethan Coen made Drive-Away Dolls and then Honey Don’t, which are the two lowest-rated movies of his career. Like I said, I haven’t seen everything attached to Ethan Coen’s name, but I certainly understand why Honey Don’t sits under everything else of his I’ve seen, and in fact below pretty much everything he’s directed.

Honey Don’t was written by Coen with his wife, Tricia Cooke. It’s their second writing collaboration, and also the second in a proposed “lesbian B-movie trilogy.” Since neither of the two movies in the trilogy have been well-received, it does bring up the question of whether or not this will be completed.

Cold as Ice

Film: Dead of Winter
Format: DVD from DeKalb Public Library on gigantic television.

Every now and then, an actor who has made their bones in traditional roles starts making action movies. It happened with Liam Neeson did Taken and it happened when Colin Firth did Kingsmen. It happens to comedians sometimes, too—Bob Odenkirk and the Nobody films, for instance. With Dead of Winter, it appears that it is now Emma Thompson’s turn. And let me tell you, if Emma Thompson is now going to be doing thrillers and action movies, I am 100% here for it.

Dead of Winter is a high concept movie in the sense that you can run down the plot in a couple of sentences. Barb (Thompson) is a recent widow who is traveling to a remote lake in northern Minnesota to scatter her husband’s ashes. On her way to the lake, she discovers that a couple has kidnapped a young woman (Laurel Marsden) for some unknown reason. Since the area is incredibly remote, has just survived a blizzard, and there is no good cell phone service, Barb realizes she is the only hope the young woman’s survival.

Not That Kind of Bone

Film: Bone Lake
Format: Streaming video from NetFlix on various players.

When I saw that there was a movie called Bone Lake, I did immediately think that it was going to be a porn parody. Perhaps of Swan Lake? It’s not, of course, but that name is certainly sounds more like erotic thriller (in a crude way) than the horror movie it is. To be fair, it is equal parts horror and erotic thriller, so the name is doing double duty. “Bone” in this case is both the actual physical bones of victims as well as the more prurient use of the word as a verb. This fact is even lampshaded in the trailer.

What is interesting to me about Bone Lake initially is that the premise is one that is obvious. There’s a twist moment here that, if you don’t see it coming, you need to get off your phone and actually watch the movie. That first twist is followed by a second one that lands solidly. It’s not one that is necessary for the movie to work, but it comes as a surprise, and it genuinely does raise the film a bit in my estimation at least.

Jane's Addiction Approves

Film: Caught Stealing
Format: Streaming video from NetFlix on gigantic television.

Long-time readers of this blog will know of my constant enjoyment of film noir, including neo-noir. I also tend to like Darren Aronofsky, although he is frequently hit-or-miss. Aronofsky doing noir has a lot of potential, so Caught Stealing is a film that certainly had a great deal of potential. I feel the same way about Austin Butler. I haven’t made my mind up about him completely as an actor, although he certainly has the look. Say what you will about him, he’s certainly pretty.

Caught Stealing takes place a couple of years before the turn of the last century in New York. Former baseball standout, San Francisco Giants fan, and dive bar bartender Hank Thompson (Butler) has his life not so much together as built the way he wants it. He works at night, drinks too much, and spends his nights after work with his nurse girlfriend Yvonne (Zoë Kravitz). Everything is fine until his British punk neighbor Russ (Matt Smith) asks him to take care of his cat while he goes back to London to visit his ailing father.

Ten Days of Terror!: The Nameless

Film: The Nameless
Format: DVD from Hanover Public Library through interlibrary loan on basement television.

There is a thin line between what makes a movie a horror movie versus a thriller. In my own head, I tend to think of thrillers as films based more in the real world, while horror films tend to have more of a supernatural element. Of course, that’s a line that gets blurred a great deal, more on the horror side of things. There’s nothing supernatural about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or The Silence of the Lambs (or Hostel for that matter), yet these are clearly horror films. The Nameless (called Los Sin Nombre in the original Spanish, and the copy I watched had the title as the Catalan Els sense nom) is a film that straddles the line between thriller and horror. There are hints of supernatural here, but are they real? Or is it just something that feels like the supernatural because we’ve been manipulated to think that way?

The film begins with the discovery of the body of a young girl. The body is found in a manhole by Spanish police, mutilated beyond recognition. The belief is that everything done to the body was done to mask her identity, but several clues—a bracelet with her name on it and the fact that one of her legs is shorter than the other—leads to her being identified as Angela Gifford. Her parents, Claudia (Emma Vilarasau) and Marc (Brendan Price) are naturally overcome with grief

Ten Days of Terror!: The Man They Could Not Hang

Film: The Man They Could Not Hang
Format: Internet video on Fire!

I am a horror fan, but I’m finding more and more that I’m shying away from things that are explicitly and gratuitously gory. I don’t mind gore when it makes sense in the narrative, but I don’t see the point of the fan service when it’s there just to be there. Because of this, there is a real comfort in horror films from the 1930s and ‘40s. The Man They Could Not Hang came out in the glorious film year of 1939, and it’s one of those films that is right in the wheelhouse of its star, Boris Karloff. There’s a menace here that works really well—remade today this would be a lot bloodier, but it’s a story that would work today.

Like many horror films of the time, The Man They Could Not Hang is rooted firmly in the idea of the progress of medicine and medical experimentation. Dr. Henryk Savaard (Karloff) has experimented with the idea of bringing the dead back to life. He’s gotten a young medical student name Bob Roberts (Stanley Brown) to be his test subject—he’ll be temporarily killed and kept alive with an artificial heart. The idea is that this would allow doctors to perform procedures impossible on living patients, and then allow those patients to be revived.

Ten Days of Terror!: Doctor X

Film: Doctor X
Format: Streaming video from Tubi on Fire!

Sometimes I go into movies knowing nothing about what I’m going to see and what I get is almost beyond description. Doctor X has so many odd things about it that feel like they can’t really be a part of a movie. For instance, this is a film from 1932, and the studio created both color and black-and-white prints; color for the big markets, black-and-white for the small towns (I watched the color version). It’s very clearly a pre-Code film since cannibalism, murder, and hints of prostitution are points of the plot. It also features the wildly under-used Fay Wray in a negligee.

Another odd bit about Doctor X is the name. There actually is a “Doctor X” in the film, and if you thought that he was going to be the bad guy, you’ve been misled. That would be a common assumption—there’s a bunch of films named after the villain and far fewer named after a character who is only kind of the main good guy and kind of the main character. There’s weird science, a weirder monster, a nosy reporter, and did I mention Fay Wray in a nightie?

Ten Days of Terror!: A Horrible Way to Die

Film: A Horrible Way to Die
Format: Streaming video from Tubi TV on Fire!

Low-budget filmmaking is aways interesting to me because it often requires the filmmaker to be a lot more creative with how they tell the story. I remember seeing an interview with Sam Raimi talking about this, saying that with the first Evil Dead movies, they had to figure out creative ways to get the shots they wanted, but with a budget, you just throw money at the problem. A Horrible Way to Die is a film that honestly pushes the limit of what can/should be expected in low-budget filmmaking.

I genuinely don’t want to come off as a snob here, because for whatever reason, director Adam Wingard—who has done Godzilla movies—has evidently decided that “low budget” also means “amateurish.” Now, to be fair, this was an early film in his filmography, and it wasn’t until he’d been around for a bit that he got to do things like Godzilla vs. Kong. That might explain some of this, but it doesn’t explain the fact that he seems to be dead set against 1) letting the camera sit still for 10 seconds and 2) focus. I mean that second part literally—it’s not that the film isn’t focusing on a story; it’s that the camera is literally out of focus in a lot of shots.

Ten Days of Terror!: The Guest

Film: The Guest
Format: DVD from Cortland Public Library on basement television.

It’s fun when a movie goes in a direction that you don’t expect. Because The Guest is on the They Shoot Zombies list, I knew this would eventually turn into a horror movie, but I wasn’t sure exactly how it was going to turn into a horror movie. On the surface, this looks like it could be a lot of things, and while thriller is certainly a possibility (and it’s closer to a thriller in a lot of ways than straight horror), there are moments when it looks like it might be a comedy or even a romance. I respect that in a film. Keep the audience guessing.

The Guest doesn’t start out like a horror movie, but we’re going to get some real hints that it’s going to dive head-first into horror. We begin with the realization that the Peterson family has lost a son in military service. Shortly after this, a man named David Collins (Dan Stevens) arrives and tells them that he knew their son in the service. David is good-looking and plenty charming and has soon gotten Laura Peterson (Sheila Kelley) to invite him to stay with them for a few days. David’s claim is that he promised Laura’s son Caleb that he would look after them.

Ten Days of Terror!: Twisted Nerve

Film: Twisted Nerve
Format: Streaming video from Plex on Fire!

There is a long history of films where a male character becomes obsessed with a woman and does everything he can to get close to her, causing death and mayhem along the way. Twisted Nerve is another in that long line of films. It’s disturbing in the same way that Peeping Tom is disturbing, and for a lot of the same reasons, although this is far less extreme. However, what it gives up in shock value, it makes up by placing former child actor Hayley Mills in the role of stalking victim

One of the problems with films that explore mental illness is that it frequently gets a great deal of it wrong, often simplifying things far too much to get to a desired ending. Hitchcock, with films like Marnie and Spellbound might have been the worst for this, but it’s a consistent problem—mental illness is rarely depicted accurately or fairly. Twisted Nerve probably isn’t that accurate, either (not a psychologist, so I can’t really speak to it with much experience or knowledge), but it at least presents us with something interesting. It is nice to know, however, that the film begins with a disclaimer that people with Downs Syndrome are not dangerous and are not connected to psychosis or criminality.

I Would Walk 500 Miles

Film: The Long Walk
Format: Market Square Cinema Theater 2

When I was a Junior in high school, I was just starting out as a horror fan. Around that time, it was revealed that Stephen King had published five books under the name of Richard Bachman. Four of those books were published in a single volume called “The Bachman Books.” I liked all four of them but of them, The Long Walk was the best of them. It is not an exaggeration to say that I have been waiting 41 years for this movie. It is a brutal, vicious book, and I was hoping that the translation to film would be the same. The Long Walk has some significant differences, but it tells the story extremely well.

You’re going to hear people talk about this in the weeks ahead, and they are going to make comparisons to things like The Hunger Games and Battle Royale, and I’ve heard someone dismiss it as just a new version of Squid Game. Please know that this came first—King’s book was published in 1979. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that this is derivative of those stories, since those stores came later.

Trust is Hard to Come By

Film: Black Bag
Format: Streaming video from Peacock on Fire!

As I spend time catching up on several decades of television, I’ve come to realize that I really like a good legal drama. I’m not necessarily keen for cop shows, but give me a bunch of people in a courtroom (aside from the show Suits—I hated Suits), and I’m usually happy to keep watching. This is interesting to me because if you asked me what kind of shows I like, I probably wouldn’t list legal dramas. When it comes to movies, I am much the same way with espionage thrillers. I can’t say it’s a genre/subgenre that I think about a lot, but I’m always really happy to watch a good spy drama. This is relevant, because Black Bag from earlier this year is a very good spy drama.

The key to a good espionage story is essentially the same as a good thriller in general. We have to have multiple possible outcomes. We have to never really be sure of who we can or should trust. Every decision our main character makes needs to feel as if it is potentially lethal, either for themselves or for someone else. Black Bag gives us this with the added drama of the espionage taking place in the context of a marriage and several other relationships.

Declaring Your Major

Film: Thesis (Tesis)
Format: Streaming video from AMC+ through Amazon Prime on Fire!

There seem to really be only two things required to make a good thriller film. You need to put your character or characters in legitimate danger, and you need to make sure that what that character or characters need to do to survive isn’t obvious. A part of the danger has to be that we don’t know who to trust—that anyone could end up being dangerous or the cause of the terror. Thesis (or Tesis in the original Spanish) is a master class in creating this kind of tension. That it happens to be the debut feature-length film from Alejandro Amenábar makes it only that much more impressive.

A large part of the tension in Thesis comes from not just the way the film is set up, but the subject of the film itself. Thesis is very much a film that dives head-first into the idea of snuff films, following from Mute Witness from the previous year and followed by 8MM a few years later. It’s a subject that has always been of some dark fascination for many horror fans—films that touch on the subject feel dangerous, and Thesis, while it never feels at all like a snuff film, definitely does feel dangerous.

Good for Her!

Film: Blink Twice
Format: DVD from DeKalb Public Library on basement television.

There’s a sub-genre of movies, typically horror and thriller movies, that are colloquially called “good for her” movies. Essentially, a good for her movie is one where a female main character faces significant adversity and ends up successfully getting what she wants, more or less, by the end. Well-known and popular examples of the sub-genre include Midsommar, Swallow, Ready or Not, Jennifer’s Body, and You’re Next. Blink Twice is a clear addition to that list, a film where women are put in terrible danger and fight their way through.

We’re going to start out with some background information about a man named Slater King (Channing Tatum), a tech billionaire who has stepped down as CEO of his company for some unspecified problematic behavior. While it’s not really discussed, the implication is some sexual impropriety; basically, he got me-too'd. While not CEO any more, King is still involved in his company, and we’re going to spend some time at a party where he encounters Frida (Naomi Ackie), a cocktail waitress, and our main character.

Bed, Bath, and Way Beyond

Film: What Lies Beneath
Format: DVD from Sycamore Public Library on basement television.

I’m a sucker for people playing against type. Give me Dennis Hopper playing a good guy, or Henry Fonda playing a complete bastard, and I’m in. It’s catnip for me, as is watching someone known for doing comedy excelling at a serious role. So, give me a movie where Harrison Ford is playing a professor who has had an affair with a student who has since gone missing and you have my attention. That movie is What Lies Beneath, which was somehow co-written by Clark Gregg, best-known as Agent Coulson from the Marvel Universe. It’s a big old world, but it’s folded over a lot.

Norman Spencer (Ford) is an accomplished scientist living in the shadow of his mathematician father. He and his wife Claire (Michelle Pfeiffer) live in Vermont in a large and fairly idyllic house, but the relationship is strained. A large part of this strain comes from Claire’s daughter Caitlin (Katharine Towne) going off to college, leaving Claire and Norman as empty nesters.

Assume the Title is Ironic

Film: Joy Ride (Roadkill)
Format: Streaming video from Tubi on Fire!

For whatever reason, there are actors who don’t have the career they deserve. One such actor is Steve Zahn, who is frequently the best thing in the movie he is in and just as frequently is in a movie that is beneath his talent. I’ll put it out there that of our three primary actors in Joy Ride (also known as Roadkill), Zahn is better than the film. Co-star Paul Walker is exactly as good as the material, and love interest Leelee Sobieski, also known as the very poor man’s Helen Hunt, is punching above her weight.

Anyway, Joy Ride is a film that, depending on how serious you are about horror movies and thrillers, is one that you have absolutely seen at least once before. A substantial part of this movie is Duel for the Millennial generation, the main difference being that rather than happening seemingly at random, our heroes bring at least a little of what follows on themselves. There are also a number of similarities here to the original version of The Hitcher (I don’t know about the remake, since I haven’t seen it). If you want to go more obscure, there’s a lot here that is similar to the early-‘80s Aussie film Road Games.

Ten Days of Terror!: Horror Shorts

Film: Frankenstein (1910); Thriller; The Skeleton Dance
Format: Internet video on Fire!

In the early days of film, almost everything was an experiment. When you look at the earliest of the silents, they start by showing essentially real life to the audience. We slowly start to develop the idea of stories and doing something more than just showing people walking or dancing or trains pulling into stations. Frankenstein, very loosely based on the Mary Shelley novel, was produced by the Edison company, is a film that tried to advance the language of film. How successful it is, however, is not as easy to determine.

There’s honestly not a lot here that connects to the actual story. Oh, we’re going to have a guy named Frankenstein (Augustus Phillips) who is engaged to be married to a woman named Elizabeth (Mary Fuller), a ceremony threatened by Frankenstein’s creation of a monster (Charles Ogle). But that’s where the similarities end.

Ten Days of Terror!: Roadgames

Film: Roadgames
Format: Streaming video from Tubi TV on Fire!

In the world of Ozploitation films, Roadgames is unique in one particular way. This is a film that is very clearly Australian, but stars two Americans: Stacy Keach and Jamie Lee Curtis. It was also the most expensive Australian production for the time. There are some connections to a number of films here--Roadgames makes no bones about being influenced in many respects by Rear Window, but there’s just as much Duel here. It’s also a film that seems to have influenced others; The Hitcher comes to mind.

To be fair, Roadgames is essentially the opposite of Duel. In Duel, an innocent driver is harassed by an unknown truck driver. In Roadgames, a truck driver finds that he is sharing the road with a serial killer who is attempting to frame him for his crimes. In a significant respect, this is as much a precursor to The Hitcher than it is a role-reversed Duel. The biggest difference, and I’m going to say this as nicely as I can, is that most of the people in Roadgames are pretty dumb.

Ten Days of Terror!: Watcher

Film: Watcher
Format: DVD from Sycamore Public Library on basement television.

Horror movies have a tendency to go after current fears. This is not a surprise, of course. If the movie is supposed to be scary, it makes sense to go with a common fear or something that taps into the zeitgeist. Home invasion movies are popular because that’s a common fear. Another common fear and common base plot is women being pursued in some voyeuristic fashion. Invasion of privacy, particularly this kind of personal invasion of privacy is a fear of most people, an intense fear for many women, and so it makes its way into plenty of horror movies as the base of the plot. It won’t be surprising that this is central to the film Watcher. After all, it’s kind of in the name.

I never thought that in addressing a stalker movie produced by a streaming service that I would be making a connection to one of the classic movies of the late 1940s, but there’s a huge connection to The Third Man, and it’s an awfully good one. In The Third Man, we as the audience follow Holly Martins around in Austria, and the speech of the natives is never translated for us or given subtitles. For anyone who doesn’t speak German, a huge percentage of the dialogue is simple not accessible. This throws us off-balance and makes it harder for us to feel assured of what is happening. Watcher takes place in Romania, and our main character Julia (Maika Monroe) has only a rudimentary understanding of the language. She’s alone for much of the day in a place where she doesn’t understand the bulk of what is happening around her, which leaves her isolated and vulnerable. It’s really effective.

Who's There?

Film: Knock at the Cabin
Format: DVD from Sycamore Public Library on rockin’ flatscreen.

Remember 1999, and how much promise M. Night Shyamalan had? When The Sixth Sense came out, it felt like there was a new, powerful voice in film, and Unbreakable was interesting as well. And then, well, his career started to drop off pretty dramatically. People still allow him to make movies despite the fact that his name is on both The Lady in the Water and The Last Airbender, which is arguably the worst television-to-movie adaptation in history. That being the case, I went into Knock at the Cabin with some worries.

The problem with Shyamalan is not that his ideas aren’t good, but that his follow-through is often lacking. He makes some bad choices, frankly. A lot of that is because, thanks to his first few movies, it seems like he finds it necessary to cobble in a twist near the ending of the film, and that often happens to the story’s detriment. Twists are great, but they’re also really risky, and Shyamalan came up snake eyes a bunch of times in a row. It’s also worth saying that because this is a Shyamalan film and he lives or dies on those twists, you should expect the rest of this to be under a spoiler tag.