Format: Streaming video from Tubi TV on Fire!
Deadly Friend, tonally, might be the weirdest movie I’ve ever seen. This is very clearly a horror movie, but tuned five degrees to the left, this is a wacky comedy. It appears to want to be Wes Craven’s version of Chopping Mall but it’s much more Wes Craven’s version of Weird Science or Short Circuit. It also contains one of the genuinely funniest and most ridiculous kills I have ever seen. I don’t quite know how to react to any of this.
Deadly Friend starts as a mid-‘80s sci-fi comedy. Paul Conway (Matthew Labyorteaux) and his mother Jeannie (Anne Twomey) have just moved to a new town in part because Paul is an electronic and robotics prodigy. Despite him being a teen, he is in advanced college classes, and he is developing a robot he calls BB (voiced by Charles Fleischer). We’re told that BB is incredibly advanced, and the robot does demonstrate some autonomy, specifically in terms of protecting Paul.
During their move, Paul befriends local paperboy Tom (Michael Sharrett), who is his age—a reminder that this was normal in the ‘80s. Paul also meets his next door neighbor Sam (eventual Buffy the Vampire Slayer actress and MAGA dirt bag Kristy Swanson), who lives with her alcoholic and abusive father (Richard Marcus). Paul and Sam are clearly attracted to each other, and this is a problem for her father. All of the kids are also terrorized by neighbor Elvira (Anne Ramsey).
For half an hour, this looks like a movie that is eventually going to have Paul using technology and the help of Tom to get back at the mean and aggressive Elvira and use some wacky plan to rescue Sam from her father. And then, out of nowhere, Sam’s father, angry that she spent time over at Paul’s house, pushes her down the stairs, rendering her braindead.
And this gets us to the actual plot. Using the keys of Tom’s father, who works at the hospital, Paul and Tom break into the hospital with the goal of rescuing Sam, who is scheduled to be removed from life support. Paul’s goal is to stick BB’s computer brain into her to bring her back to life. But they get there too late and they get Sam’s body, but she is technically dead. Still and all, Paul goes through with his operation, Sam wakes up with a lot of eye make up, and she starts killing everyone who has wronged her. Because this is a movie, this also makes her super strong for some reason and leads to literally the funniest horror movie kill in history, when Sam throws a basketball at Elvira and literally makes her head explode.
There is a movie here. There’s a story that could easily be made from this basic plot, since in a lot of respects, this is just a variation of the basic Frankenstein story. And it wouldn’t be that hard to actually make it funny. Frank Henenlotter did it with Frankenhooker, after all, and there are some definite comic moments in Chopping Mall, which has some similarities. Deadly Friend has plot holes large enough to drive a truck through, though, and these prevent the film from working.
Why is Sam suddenly strong? Why does nobody investigate the sudden disappearance of her body? Why aren’t the police investigating her clearly abusive and drunken father? Are Sam’s black eyes caused by her being dead or because BB is now controlling her? Why does she sound like BB when she talks, except for those moments where she sounds like Sam? These questions and more beg to be asked, but we’ll never get anything like an answer, just like we’ll never find out why BB sounds like Twiki from the old Buck Rogers television show.
I’ve said before that I like Wes Craven in general. I am a fan of a lot of his work, and pound for pound, I think he’s one of the great horror directors of all time. The man created The Hills Have Eyes, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream, The Serpent and the Rainbow, The People Under the Stairs, and a hell of a lot more, and is one of the only horror directors in the world who could boast that he directed an Oscar-nominated performance. This? Deadly Friend may not be his worst film, but it’s almost certainly his dumbest. It should be embarrassed to have his name on it. And if you want to chalk it up to being early in his career, this is after Elm Street, Hills, and The Last House on the Left.
Why to watch Deadly Friend: Well, it is Wes Craven.
Why not to watch: This is probably the second-best Wes Craven movie that starts with the word “Deadly,” and the other one he made is the atrocious Deadly Blessing.
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