Wednesday, October 29, 2025

Ten Days of Terror!: The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Film: The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
Format: Streaming video from Kanopy on Fire!

I’m always a little suspicious of remakes. Sure, there are a number of remakes that are better than the original film (the version of The Maltese Falcon that everyone knows is the third version of that story, for instance). I’m still wary, though, because even when the remake is good, it’s usually not as good as the first one. I like the idea of filmmakers doing remakes of movies that were bad but had good ideas rather than remaking classics. This is especially true of formative films in a genre. All of this is to say that I watched the 2006 remake of The Hills Have Eyes, and I have some things to say about it.

The basic premise of this remake is essentially the same as the original film. A family on vacation is driving through the American southwest, specifically through the desert around where the nuclear tests were done and find themselves stranded and attacked by a family of mutants who have been affected terribly by the radiation from the bomb tests around Alamogordo.

This remake is not a shot-for-shot remake of the original, but the story beats are essentially the same. The Carter family—Bob (Ted Levine) and Ethel (Kathleen Quinlan), their kids Lynn (Vinessa Shaw), Brenda (Emilie de Ravin), and Bobby (Dan Byrd), Lynn’s husband Doug (Aaron Stanford), Lynn and Doug’s infant daughter Catherine (Maisie Camilleri Preziosi), and dogs Beauty and Beast—are headed to San Diego by way of the desert. Bob is looking to start a security company and is contemptuous of his son-in-law, who he calls a Democrat and who works for a cellphone company rather than doing something with his hands.

The family is steered off to a “scenic route” by a gas station attendant who is clearly working with the mutant family in the desert. Off the family goes, Airstream trailer in tow, until they drive over a hidden spike strip and crash. And now they are going to be prey for the radioactive mutant family, and the bulk of the film will be the mutants playing cat and mouse with the Carter family, using them as playthings, possible sexual assault victims, and (naturally) food.

Here’s the thing about this remake of The Hills Have Eyes: if this was the original film, it would be a decent film. There’s not a lot of plot to it, of course, but a lot of horror movies work well as high concept films. You don’t really need much more than people being put in peril and whittled down by, essentially, sub-human monsters who may not have the intelligence of our main characters, but have guile and years of experience and knowledge of the surrounding area and basic survival.

But this isn’t an original film; it’s a remake, and it’s a remake of a film that was far better than it should have been. We can attribute some of that to the skill of Wes Craven, who never gets the sort of credit he deserves as a filmmaker. A lot of it, though, comes from the surprising performance of Michael Berryman. Berryman got the role of Pluto in the original film because of the rare condition he was born with that causes him to have no sweat glands, teeth, or hair, and likely caused some of the physical oddities of his appearance in general. Berryman looks like he could pass as someone affected by radiation with a lot less time in the makeup chair. What makes the film work, though, is the fact that Berryman is really skilled as an actor. He makes Pluto sympathetic to the audience as a character constantly bullied by his older siblings and father. Despite being a monster, we feel for Pluto.

There’s none of that here. Pluto (Michael Bailey Smith), is essentially just another version of Leatherface. He doesn’t talk—he just attacks. There’s nothing interesting in him. The other members of the mutant clan—Lizard (Robert Joy), Jupiter (Billy Drago), Big Brain (Desmond Askew), Goggle (Ezra Buzzington), Big Mama (Ivana Turchetto), and Cyst (Greg Nicotero)—are just monsters of one type or another. The look horrible and act in horrible ways. Mutant Ruby (Laura Ortiz) is shown as more sympathetic, but we’re not told why she is this way. She just is.

And that’s the problem with The Hills Have Eyes. What made the original film work is that there was a depth to the characters. Jupiter, Mars, Mercury, and especially Pluto had some depth to them, even if it wasn’t much. No one wants Pluto to leave the desert or join the people he’s attacking or be redeemed in any way, but we feel sorry for the life he’s had to live. In this remake, they’re all just monsters, just something to attack and be attacked by.

So, while there are some real scares here and some very upsetting sequences, what this remake of The Hills Have Eyes is missing is the depth of character the original film had. I don’t want to root against the family, but I do want to have a reason to not simply condemn the mutants, or to at least lessen that condemnation.

Why to watch The Hills Have Eyes (2006): Say what you will, but Aja is a more than competent filmmaker.
Why not to watch: The original is better by a lot.

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