War Like an Egyptian

Film: Cleopatra (1934)
Format: Turner Classic Movies on rockin’ flatscreen.

Who was Hollywood’s greatest Cleopatra? The role is almost always associated initially with Elizabeth Taylor thanks to the massive 1963 epic film. In some respects, the association of Taylor with the role has as much to do with the massive production and incredible amount of money spent as it does with the movie itself. The question I had for the 1934 version of Cleopatra is whether or not Claudette Colbert could do anything to make me forget Taylor playing the Queen of the Nile. I’ve always been a bigger fan of Taylor than Colbert for starters. Colbert was a good actress, but was often put in roles where she had to be all that is woman, something that I don’t think she was built for. And really, Cleopatra is that sort of a role.

Much like the later epic, Cleopatra in this earlier version is a combination of two of Shakespeare’s plays: Julius Caesar and Antony and Cleopatra. Where the later epic essentially does both plays in all of their glory (and thus runs somewhat over four hours), this version is highly truncated, giving us the meeting between Cleo and Caesar, the assassination of Caesar, and the romance between Antony and Cleopatra in a relatively spare 101 minutes.

Watching Oscar: The Greatest Show on Earth

Film: The Greatest Show on Earth
Format: DVD from Rockford Public Library on various players.

It would be completely dishonest of me to not mention at the start of this that I really don’t like circuses. I mean that I really don’t like them. That being the case, The Greatest Show on Earth has a strike against it before I’ve cracked open the DVD case. Strike two is that this film is often mentioned as a film that should never have won Best Picture. There’s almost always some anger around what wins in any given year, and most of that is reserved for recent memory. Most people couldn’t peg this as something that won that particular award. Unlike classic winners like Casablanca and Gone with the Wind, The Greatest Show on Earth has sort of faded into a sort of well-deserved obscurity.

Super-heroishly named Brad Braden (Charlton Heston) runs the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus as it travels around the country. But the circus is going through some rough times in the post-war depression years and the bigwigs of the big top want to run a short season—10 weeks playing only the major cities. Brad convinces them to allow him to continue on the road as long as the show remains in the black. He does this by telling them he’s acquired the services of The Great Sebastian (Cornell Wild), the world’s greatest trapeze artist, and that Sebastian only agreed to work for the circus on the promise of a full season.

Sweet, Delicious Manna

Film: The Ten Commandments
Format: DVD from DeKalb Public Library on laptop.


Not all epics are the same. When it comes to epics on film, there are two names that stand out above the rest: David Lean and Cecil B. DeMille. Perhaps no one is more famous when it comes to creating a true epic than the great DeMille, who seemed to film nothing else. Of his epics, none are so well known, acclaimed, or loved as The Ten Commandments.

Of course, the version that everyone knows, and the version spoken of here, is actually the remake. DeMille made an earlier, silent version of this story. While that version was undoubtedly epic, it pales in comparison to the color, talkie version DeMille made in 1956. A good (or great) epic should not only be epic in length, but be sweeping in terms of story. The freeing of the children of Israel from bondage in Egypt fills the second bill, and the close-to-four-hour running time fills the first.

The film is the story of Moses (Charleton Heston), beginning with his birth and the basket in the reeds, and then fast-forwarding to about his 30th birthday or so and his life in the palace as a member of Pharaoh’s household. Here he battles with Rameses (Yul Brynner) to be the next in line for Sethi’s (Cedric Hardwicke) throne. The two also battle for the love of Nefretiri (Anne Baxter), because she is destined to marry the next Pharaoh. Whosoever weds her gains the throne (or vice versa).

Moses is the more successful of the two, successfully conquering Ethiopia and making them allies as well as building a city where Rameses could not, and capturing the love and attention of Nefretiri. However, the palace slave Memnet (Judith Anderson) knows of his Hebraic birth, and threatens to expose him as a slave. In a fit of rage, Nefretiri kills her to protect Moses, but Moses discovers the truth of his birth nonetheless, and demotes himself to the rank of a slave because of the truth of his nature. Eventually, he is exposed to Rameses by Dathan (Edward G. Robinson), the Hebrew slavemaster, and is banished, forcing Nefretiri to marry Rameses.

In his exile, Moses learns of his destiny to lead his people out of Egypt. He returns to Egypt and through him, God brings the plagues against Egypt up to and including the death of the firstborn of Egypt when Rameses finally kicks the Hebrews out of Egypt. Rameses, of course, pursues, and then there’s that whole Red Sea thing and the wandering in the desert until the Hebrews finally walk out of the desert. Really, if you want to know the full story, consult your closest Bible. DeMille takes a few cinematic liberties, but the general story is all there.

Really, the movie is an excuse for tons of extras and spectacle and a few fun special effects like the turning of sticks into snakes. And that’s okay; that’s really what an epic should be.

The film, made as it was in the 1950s, is very Hollywood-y, which means it contains the sort of coincidences that would make Charles Dickens blush. When Moses takes over building the city, he saves the life of an old woman, who naturally turns out to be his real mother. We also see frequent visits by Joshua (John Derek) and his love Lilia (Debra Paget), who is eventually taken into the house of Dathan. It’s Joshua who causes Moses to kill the master builder Baka (Vincent Price). It’s Joshua who brings Moses back to Egypt. It’s Joshua who helps lead the people out of Egypt. It’s almost as if DeMille didn’t mind having tons of extras, but was limited in the number of characters he could actually name.

What strikes me as funniest is that when Moses demotes himself to slave, no one recognizes him. Lilia, who he rescued from terrible punishment, brings him water, but can’t place the guy who was in charge of the slaves for a few months. None of the Egyptians recognize him, either—including Baka, who worked directly under him. Okay, he’s a little (or a lot) dirtier, but it’s not like my kids come inside from playing and I don’t recognize them until they’ve taken a bath. It just seems so silly.

In short, this is not a movie that could be made today, at least not without significant changes. So much of it just seems so goofy that it simply wouldn’t work. The parting of the Red Sea is still pretty cool, even if the effect is fairly obvious to modern eyes, and it appears that the Red Sea is only about 50 feet deep.

Despite all of this, The Ten Commandments is still a great film and still worth watching. It’s undoubtedly easier to stomach for true believers, but even us heathens can enjoy some spectacle in our ordinary lives.

Why to watch The Ten Commandments: An epic the way an epic should be.
Why not to watch: It can’t help but be preachy.